Thursday, July 25, 2013

At 3:01 PM

This is a theme paper I made back in my fourth year of high school. it's not that great of a paper but I'm proud of some words that I've managed to put together even though we were only given a few hours to write. Those few words managed to explain my own beliefs towards God even though they were just simple.

The topic we were given was "A Conversation with God". I forgot to mention that I studied at a Catholic High School so it's not all that strange that we'd be given this type of topic haha. Oh, and also take note that the setting is on a Sunday, and I usually have Alternative PE on that day from 8-10 am. It's a thing my high school has. Anyway, here goes:

*The words I underlined were the ones I added while retyping the story.

Today was a day like any other, yet today was a day like no other. Today I woke, ate and bathed, but today You woke me up, fed and bathed me. Today I was with You - like any other day - but today I see You.

As I lie here, waiting for sleep, I remember the time we spent together.

I woke up at seven o'clock, and left the house by nine - where to, I had not the slightest idea. I went through my usual Sunday routine. I felt perkier than I usually did, and I didn't know why. I figured it was just a good day. I had this feeling though, of a peculiar excitement, like I knew that something good was going to happen. I suppose that was what You meant when You told me You whispered Good luck to me. And oh, it was luck I found everywhere today, especially that time at 3:01 pm.

At eleven I left school and walked home - at least that's what I had thought. Little did I know that You held my hand then, guiding me to a place unknown, yet felt like home. I walked and walked - unaware of having traveled so far. I came across a place full of greenery and stopped - finally realizing I was lost. I looked at my watch. It was 3:01 pm. I've skipped lunch! I didn't feel hungry nor tired though. I didn't even feel scared, so I walked and I walked; so I walked to You.

You were sitting on a bench, wearing a strange white cloak. You had on a face of a man - in his forties but looking young. Your wrinkles deepened into dimples as I sat next to You.

"Good morning, Daughter," You had told me.

"Good morning, Dad," I replied. It seemed so natural to me - to call You "Dad" so suddenly. Come to think of it, it wasn't even morning then, but it just felt like it couldn't have been anything but a morning full of sunshine.

We sat there, under the sun's light and without the protection of the trees, just sitting in silence. For the first time in my life, the heat of the sun wasn't hurting nor blinding, just warm and gentle. For the first time in my life I wasn't fumbling for words to fill the gaps of silence. It was peaceful. It was nothing in everything. It was everything in nothing.

Finally you turned to me and talked to me, like You weren't God at all, like You were just my friend. I can't remember Your words, but Your smile won't fade from my memory. I remember not noticing when You started changing faces - from adult to child, from male to female. I guess when they say that loving someone was seeing the face of God, it was the truest thing. Because it's all that I felt - Your love. I remember Your last few words to me:

"My child, please don't ever forget. It's not wrong to doubt. I won't be the one to tell you what's right and what's wrong. What I shall tell you is this: Follow the path of love. Whether things are right or wrong, if there is love, there will always be hope. It is not wrong to fight, but it will hurt to hate. And that is the least that I want to happen, for you to be hurting. When the time comes You might even forget or hate Me, but remember My love for you will not change. I hope that even if you doubt everything else, this you will not."

Then You smiled at me with a face full of longing, I could never have imagined God would make a face like that - not for me.

You literally faded away from my eyes. I wonder why I didn't panic. Did it have anything to do with the fact that my hand was still warm from Your touch? I never even noticed that You held it this whole time. I miraculously knew my way back. And I didn't know why, but I was confident You led me the way.

As I arrived at the front of my door, I heard something ticking. It was my watch. The minute hand was moving away from the "12". My time was already moving away from 3:01 to 3:02.

Tonight I lie here, awake - afraid to forget Your many faces; afraid to forget Your never-changing smile. Tonight I feel the tears in my eyes. Tonight they did not dry up but are wiped away. Tonight I am not afraid of ghosts. Tonight I am with Your hand. Tonight as I finish my prayer, I hear Your voice saying, "See you tomorrow, Patricia." I smile. I know that I will not, but You'll be there anyway.

*On this picture was a comment my old English teacher made that was actually the reason why I became proud of this paper. She's a very strict teacher so getting this type of comment from her made me so happy. Credits to my old instagram post haha.

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