Again, life just ruins the good things sometimes. Don't get me wrong though. Life is wonderful. Sometimes. I'm no pessimist but I'm a realist. Some days life gives you rainbows, and other times it gives you lemons, and even then it occasionally throws rocks at your face just for fun.
Getting back to my point (and yes, I do have one) - I love the rain, but sometimes it just doesn't really work out for me, or for everyone else for that matter. Today though as I was walking amidst the trees with leaves falling and a slight drizzle, I realized that I love that feeling - the feeling when rain is about to fall.
It's a rather random realization I know, but it was just such a peaceful experience that I can't help but write it down.
It was after I learned that my last subject was a freecut, and I was going to meet with my sister to go home. The sky was dark, but because of the darkness, it highlighted the beauty of the clouds. They had these light grey shades that you only saw when the weather's gloomy. And yet the gloom has a beautiful art to it huh? It makes you feel eerily solemn. The leaves were falling off of the trees. It was the first time I saw that many leaves scattering around me. (I live in the Philippines and over here there's no such thing as Autumn.) The wind was blowing so hard I got chills. Forceful though it was, it was never violent. It didn't feel like the wind of storms trying to push me off the ground. It was magnificent. It felt like time had slowed down around me. It felt like time had slowed for me. And nothing can make you feel more important than that haha. With all that happening around me, I just felt really lazy to get my umbrella from the bag. So I walked and walked just letting the rain shower on me. I didn't really care if I got sick. It was just a drizzle anyway. Besides, today's a Friday.
That was when I realized how stupid worries like these prevent us to appreciate nature. I mean, if illnesses never existed, if we never got late for anything, if we're not so scared in getting drenched in the rain because of a presentation later, we could feel this every time this type of weather presents itself to us. The rain isn't so horrible, it's us that make it horrible. It's our wordly desires that make the beauty of nature so mediocre and unpleasant. To tell the truth isn't it all magical? How little droplets of rain fall on us? How the ground itself changes its form whenever something in the sky's changed? How the colors of the sky turn to pink or orange or grey or blue just because the air is a little more humid? How the wind blows harder or lighter based on all of this?
I know this isn't really the order of things. There's all this science about how the cycle goes. But then science is just putting the phenomena around us into words. Sometimes it doesn't even explain. It just says aloud what we all see. So then what prevents us from saying that science is really just an explanation of magic?
I also understand that if everyone didn't have worries and everyone felt nature's wonders in its purest state, they would all take it for granted. So I guess somehow those worries, they're the reason that we can appreciate this type of change so much more. It doesn't make its presence any better, but at least we get a consolation prize.
While writing this down, I'm not even sure if I'm making sense. I wish I am. But then again I might not be. I just really wanted to mark down one of the few times that I remember what it would be like if we weren't living in this polluted world of ours.
Polluted with dirt, yes, but no only that. We are polluted with greed and self-obsession. Truly these are man's greatest sins, because they not only forget other people people when they are occupied with their selves. They even lose that - their selves, their identities. In their conquest for their own meaning, they forget that they live too, that life isn't just about pursuing something and leaving your own self behind, but finding that true self and honing it to become the best that can be. Most of us learn to hate ourselves only because we get tainted by the pursuit of greatness. We reject the us that are no where near it. So we leave behind our most dominant qualities and our most important values, and we replace them with superficial values that are no where near what we once were. What we fail to see is that no one will be able to be better if they don't even give themselves a chance. Man's true tragedy is not death. It is not the loss of life, nor is it the loss of love. Man's greatest tragedy is to lose his own self. For if he does not even have this, then is the life or love lost even his to claim?