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Monday, May 26, 2014

Stripes


You say you're white.
Then a moment later,
You say you're black.
Afterwards,
You claim you're neither,
And then say
You're either.

Which is it really?

The complex tune you play,
Messes up the steady beat of my life.
And yet,
It is all the more beautiful.

I have seen the colors that I once not knew.
I have seen the shapes of a million sides.
I have grabbed the essence, of that which is abstract.
I have held your hand,
You monstrous angel.

I cannot comprehend
Those stripes in your brain.
Is it black?
Is it white?
As I ask myself these questions,
Suddenly,
I see.
Your stripes...
Become swirls.

I am so confused.

The mad beauty of genius art
Pales in comparison
To you
Oh, you.
You unreal creature.

Is it so strange,
That I memorize every line
On your face,
On your fingers,
And even the feel,
Of your fingertips?
And yet,
When I close my eyes,
I cannot envision you.
I do not know you.

Ahh,
But wait.
I do.

You are
Gray.

(With tiny sprinkles of color within.)

You are either black or white,
And at the same time, Neither.
Pity that you are color blind,
Because you can't see yourself,
Much less recognize it.
Mirrors are useless,
Terms are useless.

In your world,
You are Black and White
Put together,
Existing as either,
Negating both.

You exist as extremes,
Pushing each other past their limits,
Past your limits.

You cannot see.
I can.

But for you,
I will be blind.

I will love White,
and I will love Black.
Even though you are both and neither.
I will know your true self,
Without letting you know.
So that this love,
Won't force you to hurt,
And question yourself.

I will hide Gray,
I will love White.
I will love Black.
I will love you,
For you.
Together in your world.


*This poem was inspired by the bipolar disorder - and most especially by this new show I watch, Black Box. More than in any other shows where I've encountered bipolar characters, this show lets me experience her life, her mind, and its fine madness. In fact this poem may actually be entirely dedicated to Catherine Black, an exceptional character, and my interpretation of her. Kelly Reilly is a skillful actress with (personal opinion) almost perfect delivery of a complex character.

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