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Friday, August 15, 2014

Clown

That big red afro,
Bright cherry lipstick,
Ghastly white powder.
I wore my costume.
My feet feel doomed.
But I try and try anyway,
To look as happy as can be.

'Cause everyone's colorful,
But I'm black and white.
I'm that one mime -
Emotional and mimicking,
Whose only happiness was talking.
But I try and try anyway,
To look as happy as can be.

So I talk and talk and talk,
And one by one I wore,
These heavy ornamental glamour.
The bright red lipstick was first,
And slowly of real blood I thirst.
But I try and try anyway,
To look as happy as can be.

It formed a big big smile,
On top of my lips.
So when I laugh or frown,
I could not distinguish.
What is this?
But I try, or tried anyway,
To look as happy as can be.

The costume was thick and heavy,
Weighing me down with each step.
I was in a maze,
One with no map.
In my own clothes I was trapped.
I wonder if I really tried anyway,
To look as happy as can be.

Clowns were beloved,
They made people smile.
To be a clown was what I wanted
But then they could not see,
That the clown was not me.
Maybe I should've tried anyway,
To look as happy as can be.

It was a struggle to be real,
To keep the mask on but be me.
Then I sank into the mask.
But the mask was she,
And I was me.
Do I still try anyway,
To look as happy as can be?

Tug at the left,
Tug at the right,
I wonder if this is how a smile looks like.
My heart is breaking.
This suit is stifling.
How do I try anyway,
To look as happy as can be?

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